Bye Felicia… And turning 25!

 

There are many reasons why I am so ready to say Bye Felicia to year 24. Don’t get me wrong, there were definitely some great things that happened to me along the way like getting into graduate school, moving to a new city, and learning more about myself as a person. But boy has this year had many more downs than ups, and if I can take away anything from this past year, it is that I have to always put myself first.

I am a person who dares greatly and takes pretty significant risks, often which have resulted in great reward. But what I had not experienced was much loss. I dared greatly to love with my entire heart only to be left picking up the pieces. I dared to move to a new city and live alone for the first time ever, and have found that I am much better off in the company of others. I dared to strut my stuff in a bikini in front of hundred, and for the first time experienced stage fright during a flute performance. However with my many failures, I have been highly successful at gaining weight.

If 24 has taught me anything, it is that failure is inevitable. But its how you recover, how you can bounce back from those failures that truly matters. I have learned that the heart does mend, but often times it feels as slow as molasses. I have learned that no matter what I am feeling, sadness, heartbreak, happiness, success, I cannot let my emotions dictate my eating choices. By no means have I learned to master the skills of truly dealing with specific emotions I am facing, but I am now learning to recognize how to address them in healthier ways. As a person recovering from eating disorders, and what feels like many faliures, I am choosing to dedicate year 25 entirely to myself.

I have to learn to take care of myself and accept the flaws and strengths within my soul. I have to learn that the negative things people have said to me, do not define my character. And I have to learn that my happiness is not defined by my size, shape, or the clothes I wear. This year I am daring to love myself fearlessly and put myself first. I am daring to continue to take risks, and to follow all the many adventures that have yet to come.